Good News for Big Kids

All kids deserve love and respect regardless of their body size or shape.

Every body is a good body. Your body is a good body! No one has a "bad" body. No one has the right to criticize your body.

For some bizarre reason, our society has decided that there is an ideal body size and shape - for women it is a thinness that looks like starvation. Men are "supposed to be" tall, broad shouldered, and narrow-hipped. In reality, very few people look this way naturally. Kids and adults come in all sizes and shapes. This is a characteristic of human beings. Wouldn't it be dull if we all looked alike?!

As a society, we have learned that it's wrong to discriminate against people based on their skin color, their sex, their religion, their national origin, their age, or their disability. It is time for our society to recognize that it's not fair to discriminate against people because of their size or shape.

Many big kids are well-liked.
Big kids who are well-liked like themselves. They are friendly but not pushy. They care about others and are sensitive to their feelings. They listen to what other kids have to say and sympathize with them. They try to be fair and reasonable. They know how to compromise when there are disagreements. They don't use their size to intimidate smaller kids, but they do like having a big body.

Many big kids know how to make friends.
What do most kids look for in a friend? They look for someone:

Being a good listener is important to making and keeping friends. Other things good friends do are:

If you feel badly because you don't have many friends, do something about it. Participate in an activity at school. Join a 4-H Club, a Scout Troop, a Campfire circle, or a Church or Temple Youth Group. Get involved in community theater or chorus. If you can't act or sing, you can still help behind the scenes. Volunteer at a homeless shelter, nursing home, hospice, animal shelter, or hospital. Remember to be yourself. You'll find other kids looking for friends. Don't keep them waiting!

Many big kids are good looking.
Looking good means feeling good about yourself. If you feel good about yourself on the inside, you'll look good on the outside! Don't spend a lot of time wishing you look differently. Instead, make the most of the way you do look! You have many good things going for you! Concentrate on these positives!

So, when you look at yourself in the mirror, don't play the "If only" game:

Instead, try the "I'm going to look good" approach:

Many big kids are smart.
Smart means going to school and attending all your classes. Smart means doing your homework and handing it in on time. Smart means paying attention in class. Smart means trying your best. Smart means respecting yourself. Smart means expecting respect from others. Smart means knowing that you have a future. Smart means preparing for that future.

Many big kids enjoy using their bodies.
Some big kids are "natural athletes," and end up being the star of the football team. That's great for them but not a lot of consolation to kids who rarely get chosen to be on a team. Fortunately, there are lots alternatives to team sports when it comes to fun ways to use your body. Have you ever thought of learning fencing, karate, or tap dancing? What about roller skating, aqua dynamics (exercising in a swimming pool), or table tennis? Riding your bike or walking places are also ways to keep fit.

Being physically fit is important. It helps you feel good about your body and yourself. Don't let being big become an obstacle to having fun using your body. Explore the possibilities: Call your city's Parks and Recreation Department, the local "Y", the "Girls" or "Boys" Clubs, public swimming pools, and find out about the things you can do!

Many big kids stand up for themselves, but don't look down on others.
Big kids refuse to be "victims". They know that kids who tease them have problems of their own. Kids who pick on others are trying to boost their own egos, but it doesn't work. You don't feel good by making other people feel bad. The best way to give yourself a boost is to do something nice for someone else. Making other people feel good will make you feel good!

Ignore the kids who tease you, or ask them if they don't have anything better to do, or tell them that you are surprised they care! But don't let them achieve their goal of making you feel badly. Expect respect, and give it to others when they deserve it.

If the teasing gets really bad, approach other kids who are getting teased. Ask them if they'd like to join you in standing up to the bully by telling him/her you don't like being teased and that s/he should "get lost." Bullies usually back down when they are outnumbered.

Most big kids have the same problems that other kids have.
Being a teenager means that you're not a kid anymore, but you're not an adult either. Sometimes your parents and teachers treat you like an adult. Other times they treat you like a 10-year old. This can be pretty frustrating. Of course, there are probably times when you act like an adult, and times that you don't. Some people tell you that, "This is the best time of your life, so you'd better enjoy it." Don't believe them. It can be tough being a teenager. Fortunately, it's only temporary!

Big kids have problems that average size kids don't have.
Big kids often get teased about being "too fat." Maybe you've been called "the hulk," "fatso," or even worse by other kids. Perhaps a parent, teacher, school nurse, or someone else has been nagging you to do something about your weight.

Going on a low-calorie diets may appear to be the solution to your problems. Then you'll be able to tell everyone you're on a diet and get them off your back. But the truth is that diets don't work. In fact, experience shows that diets do just the opposite - they make you fatter. How does that happen? Well, most people who go on a diet lose weight, but then they invariably gain back that weight plus a little extra. Every time they lose weight and regain it, their weight goes up a little higher. In the long run, they are worse off than they were at the beginning when they began dieting.

Instead, adopt a healthy lifestyle - eat lots of fruits and vegetables, whole grain breads and cereals, non-fat or low-fat milk, cheese, yogurt, and small portions of lean meat, fish, and poultry. Have three meals a day, and one or two snacks - time them so they fit into your day. If you hate to eat when you get up in the morning, carry a carton of yogurt and an apple, or a bag of almonds mixed with ready-to-eat cereal, or a peanut butter sandwich to school for a quick snack in between classes.

Don't skip meals. Meal skipping leads to overeating. Don't let someone else tell you how much food to eat. Learn to eat in response to the messages your body sends you. It's time to eat when your stomach is empty and you feel hungry. Eat until your hunger is satisfied, and then stop eating when your stomach feels just full.

Remember to have fun being physically active most days of the week. Don't get hooked on watching TV or playing video games. Remember, big kids can be healthy and happy. Take control of your future and be a healthy, happy big kid!

Sometimes big kids need help.
There are times when you really need someone to talk to about your problems. Someone who can understand and sympathize, and who can offer helpful advice.

If you can talk to your parents, great. Do it! But if you don't think that it's going to work, then there are others you can turn to:

If you need help, find it! Don't isolate yourself. Don't let your bad feelings build up; they are not going to go away unless you start dealing with them. If you get desperate, call the Youth Crisis Hotline at 1-800-HIT-HOME (448-4663). They will help you find someone to talk to in your area.

This pamphlet is published by the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance. We are a group of adults who care about kids, and also have a special group for kids and teens. We would like to start a Big Kids pen pal group. If you are interested, write to us at P.O. Box 188620, Sacramento, CA 95818.

The author of this pamphlet is a Mom, a wife, a University Lecturer, a Registered Dietitian, an author, and a teen rap group leader. Most importantly, she wants to change the world so it's a nicer place for all kids, but especially big kids. Her name is Joanne Ikeda.

© NAAFA PO BOX 188620, Sacramento, CA 95818 Phone:(916) 558-6880 Fax:(916) 558-6881

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